It All Started With Bird Poop
by Barking Inuyasha
Summary: This is my first fic. What happens when a bird poops on Inuyasha? Read it and find out. May contain some romance later. if there is the pairings will be inukag, mirsan, and kogaya. CHAPTER 4 IS UP! ON HOLD!
1. Bird Poop and Chaos

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I wish I did, but sadly I don't.

This is my first story. So if it's bad, live with it! OK here's my story, like it or lump it.READ MY OTHER STORY; ROYAL PAIN! IT'S UNDER THE PENNAME Psychotic Quartet.

"talking"

sounds

'thinking'

**It All Started With Bird Poop**

**CH.1**

The Yasha Gang was getting ready to go to a nearby village to see if the rumors of a jewel shard were true.

"Move it Kagome!" Inuyasha said irritably to the girl on the ground beside him.

"Inuyasha quit barkin' you big puppy." Kagome replied.

Inuyasha's face turns evil looking. "What… did…you…say?" Inuyasha was about to go crazy when Miroku butted into the conversation.

"Inuyasha, you should learn to be more tolerant and patient." He said calmly.

"Yes. Miroku is right, Inuyasha" said Sango, the demon slayer.

"OH… so now your taking the perverted priest's side." Inuyasha sneered.

"I AM A MONK!" Miroku screamed, his face turning red with anger.

"Well maybe if you would stop being so perverted, I might acknowledge that!" Inuyasha stated. Miroku was just about to explode when Shippo piped in.

"I don't think you have the right to look down on Miroku." he stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

"What'd ya mean, runt! I ain't a pervert!" Inuyasha said indignantly.

"Yeah but your a two-timer!" Shippo sneered. Inuyasha's cheeks turned red. Miroku stated to laugh and Sango was trying hard, but failing, not to giggle. Kagome also turned red, though she didn't exactly know why.

"Why yo-," PLOP. Inuyasha stood motionless, Shippo stared opened mouthed, and Kagome, Sango, and Miroku stared at the sky. They saw a crow flying away, cawing as if laughing. It had been quiet for a few seconds.

Until…..

"HA, HA! Inuyasha is a poopy-head, poopy-head, poopy-head!" Shippo sang as he danced around the stunned figure of Inuyasha. Everyone else watched with huge smiles on their faces, at least till Inuyasha went off.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-." He raged and lunged for Shippo. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shippo squealed, "KAGOME SAVE ME!"

"GET OVER YOU LITTLE B-." "SIT!" From the force in her yell, he was kissing the ground reeeeeeealy hard.

"Goddamn it, bitch! What did I do?" he yelled his voice muffled, and his mouth filled with dirt.

"You were trying to kill Shippo! And one more thing! I AM NOT A BITCH! SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT!" she screamed. "AAHHHHHHH!" Inuyasha screamed at the same time.

As the now unconscious half-demon lay on the ground, Kagome went down on her knees to comfort the little fox pretending to cry.

"I-I-Inu-Inuy-y-ya-ash-sha almost k-k-killed m-me sniff." Shippo sobbed. "Oh Shippo, it's OK" Kagome soothed.

"You know what? You'd think that Inuyasha would learn from past mistakes." Sango said to Miroku. Miroku, not paying attention to a word she says, was looking down her body with nasty thoughts going through his head.

"Miroku! Hello! Are you in there?" Sango said waving a hand in front of his face. "And what are you staring at?" She started to cover herself.

"Oh sorry Sango. I agree, but," he started to grin that grin that he grins, "he's not the only one who doesn't learn." Then rub, rub. Sango blush a deep red color and… SLAP. "YOU PERVERT!" Sango screamed, as she started to hit him more.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Sango please don't kill me! I couldn't help it! Your body is too beautiful!" Miroku called over his shoulder, running for his life.

"Don't give me that crap, you perverted bastard! When I catch you, I'm going to make sure that you can never ask another woman to bear your child ever again!" She screamed.

"oooo…. Does that mean taking both our clothes off?" he stopped to look at her.

" NO! It means cutting IT off with my boomerang!" she yelled.

After hearing this, Miroku started to cry and scream like a girl run away again. "Oh no! Please don't do that, Sango!" he sobbed.

Kagome, Shippo (having finished crying), Kirara all started to watch Sango beat up Miroku with weird looks on their faces, until….

"Finally! I got you alone!" said a male voice behind Kagome.

Soon after the voice spoke there were hands on both her shoulders. This surprised Kagome. "AHH! Who's there?" She started, and spun around and slapped at the same time.

"OW! What was that for?" Koga said in pain, rubbing his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Koga! I didn't know it was you!" 'Not really.'She said apologetically.

"It's OK. Now come. Kagome. Run away with me, and leave that stupid mutt face behind!" He said dramatically. "Because I love you more than HE does!"

'Since when did Inuyasha love me?' She thought, with that face she always gets when Koga's being this way. "Uh, Koga? I don't think you should be saying that right now. Heh, heh." She said nervously, looking over where Inuyasha was laying unconscious.

"What'd ya mean, Love. He ain't around to hear me" He said, batting a hand at the air.

Shippo, being grossed out by all this talk of love, started to edge away from the two adults. Kagome tried to follow suit, but Koga had one arm around her waist and the other hand holding hers.

While this was going on, Inuyasha was just starting to have coherent thought.

'My head hurts! Why the hell does she do that! Doesn't know that it frickin' hurts?' He thought groggily. 'Hey what's that smell? It smells like…..' He jumped up and looked around.

"KOGA! GET AWAY FROM KAGOME!" He yelled, advancing on Koga.

"Get away, Inutrasha! Can't you see that we're in love?" Koga said in a cutesy girly voice.

"What! Are you gay or something?" Inuyasha asked, surprised.

"WHAT! That's Jakotsu's job! I'm straight! You cold ask Ginta and Hakaku! Hey where'd they go?" He turned around and started to look in a bush that only Shippo could hide in.

"Ginta! Hakaku! Where are you guys!" He called

"I'm getting tired of this!" Inuyasha said, and kicked Koga in the butt.

"Why you mangy mutt!" Koga yelled enraged.

"You stupid wimpy wolf!" Inuyasha yelled back.

Then they started to fight, shouting insults at each other, and fighting over Kagome.

"I'd better go break them up. Kagome said annoyed.

She was about to do so when Kikyo (A/N: I HATE KIKYO!) came out of the forest

"Inuyasha, come to Hell with me, so we could be together forever." Kikyo called, obviously oblivious to Inuyasha and Koga fighting.

"KIKYO! Inuyasha's not going to Hell with you! If you want someone to go with you then take Koga!"

Everyone froze. Miroku stopped in mid-cower, Sango stopped in mid-swig, Koga stopped with a leg in the air, Inuyasha stopped in mid-leap, and Shippo (who was picking his nose) stopped in mid-pick; all with astonished faces.

" WHAT!" everyone said in unison.

" Oh uh…I mean, don't take Koga to Hell either! Heh heh." Kagome said sheepishly.

"Oh OK!" They all said and went back to what they were doing.

" Kikyo, keep the hell away from Inuyasha!" Kagome seethed.

"Who's going to make me?" Kikyo took a step forwards.

"I am, you dead bitch!" Kagome took a step forwards.

"Bite me!" Kikyo stuck out her tongue.

"GLADLY!" Kagome lunge at Kikyo, biting her arm. Kikyo retaliated by pulling her hair.

They continued to fight the way girls do, until Kikyo was beaten to death(A/N:YAY!), and Kagome, being very tired from kicking Kikyo's ass, blacked out.

Inuyasha and Koga's battle ended pretty much the same way, except Koga ran away almost dead, and Inuyasha also went out from tiredness.

Miroku was unconscious from a possibly serious concussion, and Sango was out cause she over exerted herself trying to kill Miroku.

Kirara, being a cat, was taking a nap. Shippo, being the only one still awake, was sad. "Hey! That's not fair! I want to be conked out too!" And then he hit himself with a rock.

…to be continued…

My first chapter of my first fic! I'm very proud of myself! I would like to thank Raging Psycho, my best friend, for helping me.

read and review!


	2. Shelby

Here's my second chapter! I'm making up two new characters. I think that you guys will like them.

"talking"

'thinking'

_sound_

CH. 2: Shelby

It was about an hour later when someone finally regained consciousness.

'My head hurts,' Shippo thought painfully. 'Knocking my self out was a stupid thing to do.' He rubbed the lump that he gave himself and looked around.

'Hmmm… I'm the only one awake,' he thought. "hee, hee, hee…" An evil sneaky grin sneaked on his face. He looked straight at Inuyasha, and then at Miroku. 'I think that I'm gonna have some fun!'

-5 minutes later-

'I'm so damn sore!' Inuyasha thought angrily. 'Stupid bastard wolf, I hope that last fight taught him a lesson. Kagome stays with me!' As if on cue, Kagome woke up.

'I just had a weird dream,' she thought groggily, sitting up. 'The best part was when I killed Kikyo.' she was about to rub the tiredness from her eyes when she felt something hard and gritty in her hand. "What's this?" She whispered to her self. She looked into her hand and gasped. There was clay and ashes in her hand. 'I really did kill Kikyo! Oh my god! Inuyasha's gonna kill me!' She thought frantically, looking around for the half-demon in question. He was sitting up twitching and wiggling every few seconds.

Inuyasha was twitching because there was mud, and a fish, in his pants, courtesy of Shippo.

"Inuyasha, why are you twitching? What's wrong? And why are your pants moving? It's sorta gross and weird." Kagome asked, coming over to him.

"I'm _twitch _not _twitch _twitching! And there's _twitch, twitch _nothing _twitch _wrong _twitch, twitch, twitch! _And_ twitch, twitch _my pants _twitch _always move _twitch, twitch _like _twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch _this!" He stained.

Kagome started to laugh because his face was all screwed up and his eyes and mouth kept twitching.

"No they don't Inuyasha, not that I look or anything!" She said quickly.

"Then _twitch_ ask_ twitch, twitch _SHIPPO!" He yelled, as he reached into his pants and pulled out the fish covered wit

Kagome looked down behind her self and saw Shippo hiding behind her leg. "OK Shippo, you need to say sorry to Inuyasha. Even if it was funny." She laughed when Inuyasha started to pout.

"OK Kagome! Shippo said happily, skipping up to the seething half-demon. He stared up into Inuyasha's face innocently, but didn't say anything.

"Well, I'm waiting." Inuyasha said expectantly.

"I'm sorry…" Shippo started sadly.

"You should be!" said Inuyasha indignantly.

"Sorry I didn't do anything else! Poopy-head!" He giggled and started to run from Inuyasha.

"Get back here!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Kagome help me!" Shippo cried.

"Not this time Shippo! Kagome called. She sat down to watch as the two chase each other around the clearing.

A few feet away, Miroku was just waking up.

'Sango almost killed me this time! But it was worth it.' he thought. He touched his newly blackened eye. When he bought his hand back down, he saw stuff on it that looked a lot like blood.

"OH MY GOD! I'm bleeding!" he jumped up and started to run around in circles canting, "I'm bleeding! I'm gonna die!" over and over again in fear.

Since Miroku was so loud, he woke up Sango, and made Inuyasha, Shippo, And Kagome stop what they were doing so they could watch.

"Huh! What's going on!" Sango jumped up looking around. "What the hell are you doing, Miroku?" she asked as she looked at the panicking monk in confusion.

"Sango, hurry! Come here, I have to tell you something before I die!" He said dramatically, closing the distance between them with staggering steps.

"Miroku! Your not-" _rub, rub._ Sango's face turned red with both embarrassed and anger. "PERVERT!" She smacked the side of his face that he wasn't holding.

"Ah," he signed, "now I can die happy"

"But Miroku, your not gonna die!" Shippo said laughing, "That's not blood on your face it's red paint!"

"So… I'm… not gonna die?" Miroku asked hesitantly.

"Nope!" Shippo replied.

"YAY! I'm not gonna die!" With saying that, Miroku grabbed Sango's waist and her hand and started to dance a happy dace with her with his eyes closed.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that!" Sango said trough clenched teeth. "And let go of me!" she said as she pushed him away.

"Aw come on Sango!" Miroku said stupidly

"Stop being so stupid, Miroku." Shippo said teasingly

"What! I can't have stupid moments?" he asked indignantly.

"Sure you can Miroku; in fact, Inuyasha has them all the time!" Kagome said happily.

"I'm standing right next to you, you know!" Inuyasha said in a toneless voice.

"Yeah, I know," she laughed and patted his shoulder. "And since you're right here, I gotta tell you something." she said in an, obviously fake, cheerful voice.

"What!" Inuyasha said in an annoyed voice, rolling his eyes.

"Um… I'm really sorry but… Kikyo's dead." she said, poking her pointer fingers together.

"Well DUH!" he said, making a stupid face at her. "I knew that already! She's been dead for fifty years, and now follows us around trying to take me to goddamn Hell!"

"I Know that! What I meant was that she's dead-dead. Cause I killed her!" Kagome said starting to get frustrated.

"Nah-uh! Naraku did! You didn't even come here yet!" he replied, also getting frustrated.

" NO! I MEAN! I KILLED HER AGAIN! When you were fighting with Koga, Kikyo came to try to take you to hell with her again! So I got pissed off and I beat her to death! I can even show you prove!" she showed him the clay and ashes in her hand.

"Oh. It's OK I guess." Inuyasha shrugged.

"Really! You're not mad?" Kagome asked with some suspicion.

"Nah! I didn't want to be human or go to Hell, anyway. And anyway, she wasn't really Kikyo; she was just a clay sculpture-like thing." He said.

"That's good." Kagome sighed with relieve.

"Hey Inuyasha? Why do you have a fish covered with mud?" Sango asked, you was looking for Kirara, but got sidetracked by Kagome and Inuyasha's conversation.

"Oh this? I have it because SOMEBODY" he short a glare at Shippo, "stuck a fish in my pants!"

"Well what're you going to do with it?" Sango asked in curiosity.

"Well we can't eat it, that's for sure." Kagome stated.

"Can I keep it?" Shippo asked hopefully, giving Kagome a puppy-dog pout, and jumping from foot to foot in eagerness. "It really seems to like Inuyasha's pants!"

"He is not keeping it!" Inuyasha said sternly. "and it's not living in my pants! I don't want to wake up every morning and have fish scales on my-" "STOP! We do not want to know that Inuyasha!" Miroku interrupted with a disgusted look on his face.

Thank God Kagome wasn't paying attention. She was too busy looking at the red paint that was on both of Sango's hands, waist, and, to her horror, her butt.

"Sango, you have paint on your hands, waist, and butt!" Kagome whispered urgently to her best friend.

"Miroku, your gonna want to run." Inuyasha said seriously, nudging Miroku in the ribs. One of his ears was turned to where the two women were whispering.

"Ow! What do you mean?" Miroku asked.

"What do you mean 'what do I mean'! Kagome just told Sango about the **paint** on her clothes!" he replied.

All the sudden, Sango turned on Miroku and gave one of the worst glares she's ever given him.

"Uh-oh," Miroku said, and laughed nervously. "Sango, you don't blame me, do you? Technically it's Shippo's fault!" he pointed to the little fox, who was playing with the fish.

"Don't bring me into this, Miroku." Shippo said, not looking up from the fish.

Sango just started to growl with anger, and her glare intensified. She then started to run at Miroku, who also started to run anyway. "Get over here you perverted monk!" she yelled after him.

"Run priest! Run for your perverted little life!" Inuyasha yelled after them.

"I'M… A… MONK! MONK, MONK, MONK! with each 'MONK' Miroku jumped up and then threw himself on the ground throwing a tantrum, saying that he was a monk not a priest. Which was a really bad move because Sango was on him in a second, beating him with her boomerang.

"When they're done, we need to get going to where I sensed the jewel shard. Kagome said to Inuyasha, as she watched the demon slayer pummel the monk.

"Yeah. Hey! You two! Hurry it up! We gotta go!" Inuyasha called.

That's when Sango got off Miroku and went to wash her clothes. It didn't take long.

"Hey, where's Kirara? Has anyone seen her?" Sango asked as she walked back to the group.

"No…" everyone said at once.

Just then, Kirara landed next to Inuyasha and Myoga jumped from her head and onto Inuyasha's shoulder.

"Long time, no see Myoga." said Inuyasha in an I-could-care-less voice.

"Yes it has been a long time, and I have come bearing news." Myoga said seriously.

"Really?" Kagome came in a little closer so she could hear the flea better.

Yes. There is a turtle demon that leaves near a village and he is said to be very violent. People have heard screams from his cave at all hours of the day. I suspect that said turtle has a jewel shard." Myoga said. "He's in that direction I expect." He gestured to the west.

"Your coming with us, right?" Inuyasha asked.

"Lord Inuyasha, I really think that you can find the way on your own." Myoga replied nervously, hoping that he wouldn't have to come.

"You are coming, and that's final!" Inuyasha yelled.

"OK, OK! Jeez!" said Myoga, and then he jumped onto Miroku's shoulder because obviously, his master was in a bad mood.

Alright, let's go." Inuyasha said to the others and started to walk off.

-Couple hours later-

They were nearing the village when Shippo decided that he would tease Inuyasha about the bird poop thing again.

"Hey Inuyasha?" Shippo asked cheerfully

Inuyasha, being suspicious, said, "What?"

"When the bird poop hit your head, was it cold?" Shippo asked.

"SHIPPO FORGET ABOUT THE BIRD POOP" Inuyasha yelled.

"No!" Shippo sang and started to run away.

"OK… That's it!" Inuyasha was once again chasing Shippo.

"This is really old, isn't it?" Sango said to Kagome, Miroku, and Myoga.

"Yeah." they said simultaneously.

All the sudden there was a loud thudding noise.

"What was that?" Shippo stopped in his tracks and stared open mouth at the forest.

Inuyasha was standing still too, listening.

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" The roar would've been more frightening, but it was too slow.

A giant turtle slowly made his way to the path they were walking on.

"I…… for……the……jewel……shards……" it said slowly.

"Who the hell are you and why do you want the jewel shards?" Inuyasha yelled.

"I……am……Shelby……the……turtle……demon……and……I……want…….jewel…shards……so……I……can……be……faster……so……I……can……be……more……helpful……to……my……master." Shelby the turtle demon said. It took him about ten minutes to finish.

"Wow! He really is slow; he's so slow I could probably run circles around him" Shippo said, surprised.

"I……heard……that……you……mean……you……mean……little……fox……child!" Shelby yelled, trying to step on Shippo.

"You can't catch! Nanana-boo-boo stick your head in doo-doo!" Shippo taunted, as he ran circles around the large turtle.

"Stop……fox!" Then he looked at Kagome. "Woman……you……have……the……jewel……shards……give……them……to……me!" the slow poke lunged at Kagome.

"Kagome! Move!" Inuyasha yelled, putting his hand on his sword hilt.

But Kagome just laughed and walk a few feet away, making Shelby miss by five feet. Inuyasha started to laugh too.

"Jeez! How do you expect to take the jewel shards if you can't even run?" Inuyasha was laughing really hard, enough to get everyone else laughing.

"Myoga, I think you were wrong about what was happening around here. This turtle is too slow to do anything!" Miroku laughed some more, and Myoga crossed his arms and pouted and jumped onto Kirara's head from Miroku's shoulder.

"Stop……laughing……at……me!" Shelby said his voice trembling.

_Rustle, rustle_

"What was that?" Shippo wondered out loud.

"SHELBY!" A little boy's voice came ringing in their ears.

Then a little boy came into the path. He had black hair pulled into a small ponytail at the base of his head. It look like he didn't have ears because his unruly bangs hid them from sight. He also had bright blue eyes, and a BIG mouth, and he had freckles.

"THERE YOU ARE! YOU NAUGHTY TURTLE!" he yelled. The boy was standing right next to the turtle, he still yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Hey kid, can you stop yelling!" Inuyasha yelled, his ears plastered to his head.

"I'M NOT YELLING!" the boy yelled happily

"Who are you little boy?" Sango asked with her hands on her ears.

"I'M…."

-to be continued-

**Boy: **CHAPTER 2IS FINISHED!

**Barking Inuyasha:** Quit yelling, kid!

**Boy:** I'M NOT YELLING!

**Barking Inuyasha:** I give up! Who is this boy who can't be talk quietly? Why is this

slow turtle taking orders from a little boy? Why am I asking these

questions? I should know these things!

**Boy:** YOU SHOULD!

**Barking Inuyasha:** Will you stop that!

**Boy:** STOP WHAT!

**Barking Inuyasha:** Yelling!

**Boy:** I'M NOT YELLING!

**Barking Inuyasha: **OK, let's get on with it. I want 5 reviews.

**Boy: **YOU HEARD HER SHE WANTS 5 OF 'EM!

**Barking Inuyasha: **For once I'll let him yell.

**Boy: **I WASN'T YELLING! WHAT IS YOU GUYS' PROBLEM!

**Inuyasha: **Y-

**Kagome: **SIT!

**Inuyasha: **OW! What was that for!

**Boy: **BUT WRITER LADY, I WASN'T YELLING!

**Barking Inuyasha: **Of course you weren't. (Pats head fondly)

**Boy:** YAY!

TTFN! 


	3. Koishi

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. _Sob _So stop asking me.

Chapter three coming right up!

**Ch.3 Koishi**

"I'M… I'M… I'M!" the boy was getting louder with each word.

Knowing what would probably happen, everyone started to get prepared.

Sango, Kagome, and Inuyasha all crouch down and covered their ears. Shippo and Kirara hid behind a really big tree. Miroku, who was oblivious to everything else that was going on, was playing with the rings on his staff, humming to the tune of _Jingle, Jingle, Jangle_ (A/N: You know from _Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer?)_.

Then the boy let it out.

**"I'M KOISHI!"**

From the force of Koishi's yell, avalanges fell from the snow-capped peaks of Tibet (A/N: Which is millions of miles away from Japan, by the way.) and Shippo and Kirara were blown half way there (A/N: Which is all ocean I hope.).

For everyone who wasn't blown away, their hair was standing straight behind their heads, as were their clothes and anything else that was hanging and movable on their bodies.

Miroku still wasn't fazed one bit, sure his hair and clothes and stuff were all blown back, but he was still playing with his staff, but now he was singing "lalala-la" to the tune of _Jingle, Jingle, Jangle,_ everyone was looking at him funny.

Koishi was about to ask Miroku what he was doing but someone beat him to it.

"What're you doing?" Sango asked.

"Hey who's that?" Miroku asked ignoring her question.

"I'M!"

"Oh no!"

"I'M!"

"Young……Master……doooon't!" Shelby had been moving ever since Kagome had asked Koishi what his name was, finally he got there to put one of hi massive paws on the boy's face, just as he was about to say his name.

The air that came out of his mouth was so forceful, that it created a sonic boom, which blew him twenty feet backward on his butt, and then he went down on his back and didn't move.

"Oh……no!" Shelby started to make his way to his unconscious young master.

"Is he OK?" Kagome asked worriedly.

"Young……Master……are……you…...OK?" Shelby hadn't gotten very far yet.

"OW!" Koishi shot up happily. "WHY'D YOU DO THAT SHELBY!"

"Will you shut-up! Why are you so happy? You just fell on your ass! Shouldn't you be mad at that to-damn-slow turtle!" Inuyasha really did not like this kid.

"Inuyasha! Watch your mouth! He's just a little kid!" Kagome yelled.

"WHAT DOES ASS MEAN!" Koishi asked, scratching his head (A/N: If you could only see the drawing that Raging Psyco made of him. It's pretty cute, so him scratching his head in confusion would look adorable.).

"Don't say that word Koishi, it's bad." Kagome said sternly.

"Well I wouldn't have to curse if he wasn't so loud, making my ears hurt!" Inuyasha yelled angrily.

"I WASN'T YELLING!"

"Yes you were!"

"NO I WASN'T!"

"Yes you were!"

"NUH-UH!"

"Yeah-huh!"

Kagome was getting pissed off; she decided to see just how much she could take of them arguing like children.

Sango, who had lost interest in this conversation long ago, was _trying _to talk to Miroku.

"What's wrong with you! Didn't you hear him!" She asked.

"I'm sorry Sango, but you'll have to talk louder. I have I have candle wax in my ears!" Miroku cupped his ears with his hand.

"Why do you have wax in your ears?" Sango asked.

"I can't hear you Sango! You'll have to talk louder!" Miroku said loudly.

"Why do you have wax in your ears!" Sango yelled again.

"You know what, why don't I just take the wax out." He said, finally taking the wax out of his ears and it inside his robes.

Sango hit Miroku in the back of the head.

"What was that for?" Miroku asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"For being an idiot. Now, if you don't mind, would you like to tell me why the hell you had wax in your ears? AND why you had the wax in the first place?"

"Well, I was bored, so I just stuck 'em in." he said nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"You're an idiot. Why did you have it in the first place?" Sango asked, trying to keep her anger level down.

"Actually, I once used it to try to get a room at a head-man's house in another village once." He started.

"Did it work?" She asked, rolling her eyes.

"Surprisingly, no. The head-man saw right through my clever ruse and his guards kicked me out. It started to rain outside, too."

"Serves you right." Sango started to lecture Miroku about how lying is really bad blah, blah, blah (A/N: You know al that crap that your parents tell you when you're little).

Miroku, of course, wasn't even listening because the argument between Inuyasha and Koishi had caught his attention.

"NUH-UH!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"NUH-UH"

"OK that's it! SIT!" Kagome has had enough of Inuyasha's childish behavior.

"WOW! HOW DID YOU DO THAT!" Koishi yelled, amazed.

Before Kagome could answer, Shippo and Kirara landed, both soaked to the bone. Shippo jumped off Kirara and ran right up to Koishi and went, "Hi, I'm Shippo the fox demon!"

"HI SHIPPO! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY FRIEND!" Koishi asked hopefully.

"Sure." Shippo said happily.

"YAY!" Koishi grabbed Shippo by the hands and they both started to do a happy dance together (A/N: Koishi is maybe about a couple feet taller than Shippo so this isn't very hard to do.). "I HAVE A FRIEND! I NEVER HAD A FRIEND BESIDES SHELBY BEFORE!"

After they had finished dancing, Shippo took Koishi by the hand and lead him over to where Kirara was scratching the water from her ears.

"Let me introduce you to everyone! This is Kirara. She's a fire cat demon. She can turn little and big. And she's Sango's pet. And-and-" Shippo was starting to turn blue from not breathing.

"Mew!" Kirara hit him in the head so he would stop talking and breathe.

"Thanks… Kirara!" Shippo said breathlessly.

"HELLO KIRARA!" Koishi said happily, patting her on the head.

"Mew." Kirara said in greeting.

"This is Sango. She's a demon slayer. She's really nice. She hits Miroku a lot." Shippo said, pulling Koishi along, who was now holding and petting Kirara.

"WHY DOES SHE DO THAT!" Koishi asked.

"Because Miroku likes to touch her, and ask other women to bear his child. _I_ think that she likes him, and gets sad when he flirts with other women…." Sango's face turned bright red when that was said; Miroku just looked at her, deep in thought.

"… She's really strong though. She has a hugemungus boomerang that she uses to slay demons, and to hit Miroku with." Shippo finished.

"HELLO MISS SANGO! YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY!" Koishi yelled, doing a cute little bow. Sango blushes a little.

"This is Miroku. He's the strongest person I know!" Miroku's chest puffed out with pride.

"WHY!" Koishi asked.

"Because Sango almost kills him everyday and he hasn't died yet." Miroku deflated with a sigh, a little anime puff coming out of his mouth.

"He's really perverted and he has a wind tunnel in his right hand, it can suck up stuff. Why is he perverted you ask? Because he's an idiot that I think likes it when Sango hits him." Shippo said laughing at his own little joke.

"HELLO MIROKU!"

"Gee, thanks for the nice introduction Shippo." Miroku mumbled.

"This is Kagome!" Shippo said as he pulled Koishi away from the pouting monk. "She's from the future! She brings me candy. Candy's good. Next time that I have candy, I'll have to give you some. And-"

"Shippo, you're babbling again." Kagome warned.

"Oh, heh, heh. Sorry Kagome." Shippo was silent for a minute, trying to collect his thoughts. "Anyway, Kagome is from the future, and she can go back and forth between the times in the Bone Eater's Well. She's super nice, but when Inuyasha makes her angry, she can be really scary. She can make him slam face first into the ground, just by saying the word sit! It's all because Granny Kaede put the Beads of Subjugation on him the day when Kagome and Inuyasha first met. But she's still really nice. She's my mommy!" Shippo then started hugging Kagome's leg and rubbing his face on it with affection.

"HELLO MISS KAGOME! YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY, JUST LIKE MISS SANGO!" Koishi yelled, doing another cute little bow.

"Why thank you Koishi." Kagome said.

"BUT HOW CAN YOU BE SHIPPO'S MOTHER! YOU'RE NOT A DEMON!" Koishi yelled.

"She's my… uh… my… my…it's what you call a mother that's not really your mother … OK I give up. What're you again Kagome?" Shippo asked.

"_Sigh, _I'm your adoptive mother Shippo." Kagome corrected him.

"Yeah that's it! Adobited mother!" Shippo said happily.

"I give up." Kagome sighed.

"See I don't remember my real mother really well, and my father was murdered by the Thunder Brothers."

"I'M SORRY SHIPPO!" Koishi didn't sound as happy as he usually did.

"But anyway, on to the next person. This is Inuyasha. He's a half-demon. He's mean, he yells a lot, he's abusive, _and _he's jealous." Shippo laughed at the last part, but he didn't laugh for long, because Inuyasha hit him in the head.

"See, what I mean! Inuyasha was once sealed to the tree for fifty years by a priestess named Kikyo. When Kagome first came through the well, she broke the spell and woke him up. Now they both are on a quest for the jewel shards, along with me, Sango, Miroku, and Kirara. Inuyasha gets jealous easily. See, he likes Kagome but won't admit it and he gets jealous of any male demon or human that talks to her. Like there's this wolf demon named Koga, and he likes Kagome too, and Inuyasha almost killed him this morning for trying to take Kagome away. He's also used to two-time her with a dead lady named Kikyo, the same lady that sealed him to the God-Tree, but Kagome killed her this morning." Shippo finished his little speech with a big smile on his face.

He looked over to Inuyasha, who was red with anger and embarrassment, mostly anger. Shippo noticed the anger and frantically jumped on to Kagome's shoulder for protection. Inuyasha was about to lunge for him, but seeing the murderous look from Kagome, which practically said 'touch him and die.', he stopped and plopped down to the ground in the pouting position mumbling something on the lines of ' stupid bitch' and 'Stupid little baby'.

"HELLO INUYASHA!" Koishi yelled right into Inuyasha's ear.

"Holy crap! OW! Don't yell in my ear! What are you, a hanyou? Because there's no way that a human could be that loud." Inuyasha yelled.

"I'M A QUARTER-DEMON! AND I'M NOT LOUD!" Koishi yelled back.

"Yes you are!"

"NO I'M NOT! MY NAME MEANS QUIET, SO I'M QUIET!"

"It doesn't work that way!"

"YES IT DOES! WHY WOULD MY NAME MEAN QUIET IF I'M NOT QUIET! WHY WOULD IT LIE TO ME!"

"Your name is an inanimate object. It can't lie to you!"

"YES IT CAN!"

"No it can't!" and then he hit Koishi in the head.

"OW!"

"Inuyasha! Don't hit him!" Sango yelled

"I can hit him if I want to!" then as if to prove his point, he hit Koishi again.

"OW!"

"Inuyasha, the girls have taken a liking to this new boy, so you have to be nice to him." Miroku warned.

"That doesn't mean that I have to like him. He yells too much." Inuyasha mumbled.

"I, for one, think the yelling is kinda cute."

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting really gay all day." Inuyasha gave the monk a weird look.

"I have not!" he said in defense.

"Whatever, Miroku."

With Shippo and Koishi

"_OK, is that the plan?"_ Shippo whispered to his new friend. Koishi just nodded in agreement.

"Hey Kagome!" Shippo called, running over to his mother figure. Koishi followed, and when they got to the girls, Koishi took each of the hands in each of his own.

"SINCE IT'S GETTING DARK OUT, YOU GUYS CAN COME AND SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME! IF YOU WANT TO THAT IS!" Koishi offered.

"We'd love to come and spend the night, Koishi, thank you!" Kagome said, smiling warmly.

"BUT HE CAN'T COME!" he said as an after thought, pointing at Inuyasha.

"I go where Kagome goes, so live with it!" Inuyasha snapped back.

"FINE!" Koishi said, just as harshly.

"You know what kid; you should learn to be more respectful… of …your…elders. Hey get back here! I was talking!" then he ran up to catch up with them.

With Sango and Koishi

"You know what, Koishi, you sorta remind me of my little brother. Not in voice volume but in other ways." Sango said as she walked hand in hand with the boy.

"REALLY MISS SANGO!" Koishi asked looking up at her.

"Yes. Do you live with you parents Koishi?"

Koishi hesitated for a moment, 'Should I tell her the truth?', "UH, YES I DO, BUT THEY'RE OUT SOMEWHERE AND SHELBY'S BABYSITTING!"

"Oh." Sango replied.

About ten minutes later

"WE'RE HERE!" Koishi said happily, throwing his arms out wide, indicating a large cave.

"Wow!" Shippo said happily, jumping out of Kagome's bike basket.

It was a really big cave, with a large area near the mouth and a small on leading off the back wall. Koishi led them to the smaller room first.

"THIS IS MY ROOM!" Koishi said happily, turning around with his arms wide.

Shippo, Kagome, and Sango all looked around. The cave room wasn't much but it was homey (A/N: what I mean by homey is that it looks like a real room in a house) just the same. It had a makeshift bed in the middle of the cave, with a few homemade toys scattered around the room.

Koishi plopped down onto the bed, and Shippo, with out a word of warning, jumped on Koishi's stomach and started to tickle and play wrestle with him.

Kagome and Sango watched with motherly looks on their faces. The guys chose then to finally come into the cave, the watched the two girls as they doted on the two little boys.

"I just have a feeling that there's something that that kid isn't telling us." Inuyasha said for the fifth time since they walked to the cave.

"You worry too much! Jeez! You know you might want to start being a little nicer to Koishi. I think that the girls have taken a liking to him." Miroku looked at the two women who were playing a little kid game with Koishi, Shippo, and Kirara (A/N: Sorry for not mentioning that Kirara came with Sango into the cave. It's the Chibis! I swear!)

"_Hmph…_ what gave you that idea." Inuyasha made a side-ways glance at the others, who were now having a tickle fight. He knew that what Miroku was saying was true, but being the stubborn guy that he was, he didn't want to admit that the monk was right.

Miroku sighed dreamily, "I wish that Sango would look that happy when I ask her to bear my children."

Kagome and Sango had just put the two little ones to bed, when Kagome heard Miroku say what he said. 'I wonder if Sango heard Miroku say that.' She looked to the side to see if Sango had heard him, but Sango was to busy looking at Koishi and Shippo talk quietly in the other room.

"What are you thinking about Sango?" she asked softly.

"I can't help but think that he looks Kohaku." Sango said, slightly confused. "He's such a cute little boy."

"Come on Sango, lets go to the hot spring that Koishi told us about." Kagome then took Sango by the hand and led her away and out of the cave.

Back to Inuyasha and Miroku

"You know what Miroku; I bet that you can't not be perverted for more than a day." Inuyasha was getting a sly look o his face.

"Is that a challenge?" Miroku asked.

"No shit Sherlock." (A/N: He learned this saying from Kagome's time, or that's what I say)

Miroku struck the mini-skirt pose (A/N: If you want to know what this looks like than watch the 13 episode of Full Metal Alchemist) "I accept your challenge!"

"Okay, why don't we sweeten the deal?" the hanyou said sneakily.

"Okay!" Miroku reached behind a rock and…

About five to ten minutes earlier (with Koishi and Shippo)

After Sango and Kagome left, the boys were talking about candy, or at least Shippo was, because Koishi just listened and nodded and shook his head every once and a while.

"Hey I just had an idea! You know that I told you that Kagome always keeps sugar in her bag for emergencies, right?" the kitsune was getting excited.

Koishi only nodded his head, slightly confused.

"Well, guess what! I saw Miroku take this really big bag of sugar from her bag when we got here, he hid it behind a rock. And do you know what we're gonna do?"

Koishi shook his head this time.

"We're gonna go behind that rock and eat some of it!"

Koishi's eyebrows went up so far that they disappeared into hi bangs. He shook his head frantically, his eyes saying: ' No we can't! We'll get in trouble.'

"No we won't. Miroku would for taking the sugar in the first place." Shippo was trying to reassure him.

Koishi sighed and nodded his head in defeat.

"Yes!" and with that they started to sneak off and got to the rock just as Miroku and Inuyasha were talking about the bet, and started eating the sugar.

Just at that moment when we left Inuyasha and Miroku

Miroku reached behind the rock and pulled out a half-empty, fifty pound bag of sugar.

"What's with the sugar?" Inuyasha asked.

"We're gonna sweeten the deal! But when I first got this, it was at least two times more sugar in the bag…." He looked behind the rock, just as Kagome and Sango were walking back into the cave.

And what he saw was two little boys with sugar all over their faces, and their pupils gone from their eyes. Shippo with out any warning, shot off, and started to literally bounce off the walls.

Shippo, seeing Koishi still on the ground in a stupor, ran back to hi friend and started to pull on him. "Cmeonyougottarunaroundtoo!"

As if Shippo's words woke him up, Koishi exploded too!

-to be continued-

Barking Inuyasha: So ends chapter 3. I worked so hard typing this, and I wanted it to be perfect for the fans out there.

Honest-Chan: (pops out of my ear) She's lying. She was just slacking off.

Barking Inuyasha: Honest-Chan! How many times have I told you to keep your big mouth shut?

Shippo & Koishi: okayshewants5reviews!

Barking Inuyasha: If you didn't under stand them, they said that I want 5 reviews.

BYE BYE!


	4. Jaken Abuse

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, _sigh, _though I do own Koishi and Shelby! So I'm happy!

Barking Inuyasha: By the way, I'm Queen of the Chibis now, you can see the full list of my chibis in my profile.

Barking Inuyasha: You know what; I think that we should go back in time. How you ask? With this time machine that I invented. (Shows off a small metal pod that fits one person and that looks like it would fall apart if a piece of dust falls on it) It runs n ketchup! I like ketchup. It's so tomatoey and—oops! Heh heh, I got a little sidetracked, anyway let's get back to the task at hand. (Steps in and everything turns black for a few seconds, and then steps out, and watches the scene)

Inutaishio: Inuyasha…

Takemaru (BASTARD!): What was that?

Inutaishio: The infant, the child's name shall be Inuyasha…

Barking Inuyasha: OOPS! (Jumps back into the time machine and is transported back to the current time) Something must not be right, because it wasn't supposed to go that far back, let me look at the blueprints… (Looks at a childish drawing, with an almost comical thinking face) Okay I gotta look for the weak spot… (Takes out stethoscope and starts listening for weak spots) There it is… (Takes out a hammer) this is a very scientific procedure… (Starts beating machine with a hammer) There, it should work now. (Gets into it once again)

**Ch. 4 Jaken Abuse**

When Koishi yelled his name, there were many natural disasters that were caused by it. What I mean is, like avalanches and tsunamis and stuff like that. But we're not talking about that kind of thing.

"I'M…KOISHI!"

"What was that?" Rin asked, as she stopped, seeing that her lord had stopped as well.

Sesshomaru had a headache that day, and whatever that yell was, made it worse. 'I need to think about something else… ummmmmmmm… Tetsusiaga … uh… killing Inuyasha to get the Tetsusiaga, …-'

"OH MY GOODNESS! WAHAT'S GOING ON MILORD? IS SOMEONE BEING TORTURED? DO YOU THINK THAT THEY WILL COME AFTER US NEXT?..." Jaken cut through Sesshomaru's thoughts like a knife; if he had a head ache before, it just got worse. Jaken was now running in a panicked circle, screaming his little toad head off. Rin was giggling at him to herself.

"Jaken. Stop it." Sesshomaru stopped his vassal with a boot to the head. "Give me the Staff."

Jaken's eyes got all big and watery (A/N: I think that Jaken is gay. Anyone else agree with me? Huh, huh?) "Oh yes Milord! I'll do anything for you! Just say the word and it's done. If you-"

While Jaken was babbling, Sesshomaru stooped down so he was level with Rin's ear, and whispered something to her. He stood up to look at Jaken again, and Rin put her hands over her ears, and started to dance around and hum to herself (A/N: I think Rin is one of the cutest little kids in manga or anime, I have a list of the cutest little kids in anime and manga on my part of the profile on Psychotic Quartet).

"JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN STAFF AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Sesshomaru yelled, really pissed off.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you know that you're really handsome when you're angry." Jaken was being the biggest fag in the world at the moment.

"GIVE ME THE FUCKING STAFF, YOU STUPID ASS BITCH!" he kicked Jaken into the air like a soccer ball, and then kicked him into a tree. Jaken was now out cold.

Sesshomaru tapped Rin on the head to signal her that she could let go of her ears.

Rin who was actually sing now, stopped abruptly and took her hands off her ears. "That was a long time to wait, Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin said happily.

"Rin, watch me when Jaken regains consciousness. But I still want you to keep your ears shut." Sesshomaru ordered, not looking at her.

"Yes Sir!" Rin replied, smiling cutely (A/N: Rin is sooooooooooooooo cute!).

Jaken's Dream World

Jaken was in a meadow full of flowers, picking flowers (A/N: I'm making this as gay as possible, so bear with me), When his handsome Lord Sesshomaru walked up to him.

"Jaken, I can no longer hide my feelings for you any longer." Sesshomaru said with a lot of feeling. He stooped down to Jaken and moved his face so they were only inches apart. He was moving closer with every word, "Jaken …I…-"

_POW! _Jaken was kicked hard in the stomach, which woke him from his dream state. "OW, DAMMIT!" he yelled.

After hearing that last word come out of his idiot vassal's mouth, Sesshomaru glanced over to Rin, who to his horror didn't have her ears covered up.

"JAKEN! I DIDN'T WANT RIN TO HEAR THOSE TYPES OF WORDS YET!" Sesshomaru yelled, pulling Jaken up by his collar.

"I didn't mean to Milord, I swear!" Jaken pleaded

"YOU SURE DID SWEAR!" Sesshomaru punched Jaken's head, really hard.

Rin watch as the dog demon yelled and pummeled the little imp, and wondered what damnit meant. She'd have to ask Lord Sesshomaru later.

"IF (_SLAM) _YOU (_SLAM) _EVER (_SLAM)_ SAY (_SLAM) _THOSE (_SLAM),_" Sesshomaru was slamming Jaken in to the hard ground with each word he said, "TYPE (_SLAM) _OF WORDS (_SLAM) _AGAIN (_SLAM) _IN FRONT (_SLAM) _OF RIN (_SLAM) _I'LL (_SLAM) _KILL YOU!" he slammed Jaken down a few more times to make his point. Jaken was so beaten up that he couldn't move. Then Sesshomaru, who still had the staff in his hand, used it to smack Jaken off the cliff like a golf ball.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Jaken screamed all the way down.

"Wow Lord Sesshomaru, you hit Master Jaken really hard!" Rin said watching Jaken roll down the cliff.

"Rin, light this branch." Sesshomaru ordered, handing her a tree branch.

"Yes Sir!" she quickly built a fire with great skill for a little girl (A/N: How Rin knows how to light a fire, I don't know.). "Here you go Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin said handing him the flaming branch.

"Thank you Rin." Sesshomaru threw the branch down to the falling imp and he hit his target. The imps head was now on fire.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M ON FIRE!" Jaken screamed in pain in the distance.

'This is hilarious! I have to do this more often!' Sesshomaru was trying to hold in historical laughter, but smiled all the same.

"Wow." Rin whispered in awe. She watched Jaken run around in circles, and cursing, loudly, the fire that was singeing head. Hearing his cursing, Rin suddenly remembered the word Jaken yelled earlier. "Lord Sesshomaru, what does dammit mean?" she asked innocently, tugging at his pooffy pant legs.

Sesshomaru had been trying to hold in his laughter, when he heard Rin say the curse word. "Rin you must never that word ever, ever again. Understand?" Sesshomaru was kneeling in front of her, shaking his finger in her face.

"Why?" Rin asked, tilting her head to the side cutely (A/N: I've said it before and I'll say it again, Rin is veeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrry cute!).

"It's not a good word, and Jaken will be punished severely for soiling you perfect, innocent brain." Sesshomaru replied.

"My brain is perfect my Lord?" Rin said excitedly, her eyes twinkling.

"Yes Rin. Now promise me that you'll never say that bad word again." Sesshomaru ordered.

"Okay!" Rin said, giggling happily. She walked off a little bit and started to hum and sing quietly to herself.

Sesshomaru watched her for a small moment with a small fatherly smile on his face, and then looked down the cliff to see Jaken lying face down in the ground, burned to a crisp. He sniffed the air a little bit to make sure he was still alive, and then called Rin back over to him.

"Yes, my Lord?" Rin said sweetly.

Sesshomaru smiled evilly. "Do you want to learn something new today, Rin?"

"Oh yes, Lord Sesshomaru!" she nodded her head vigorously.

"Would you like to make Jaken really happy?"

"Yes! Master Jaken is my friend!" Rin said happily.

'Hee hee, this is going to be great!' Sesshomaru thought to himself. Then he started to teach Rin how to hurt things.

A Few Hours Later

"Remember Rin, when Jaken comes back up the cliff in a few minutes, you gotta yell in his ear, punch his stomach, and when he starts to yell with joy to kick him where I showed you earlier, okay?" Sesshomaru had smelled Jaken waking up, and coming up the cliff, so he was giving Rin some last minute instructions.

"Like this, my Lord?" Rin asked innocently, and then she swiftly kicked him _"there"_.

With the impact, Sesshomaru's eye twitched with pain, and he had to bit his lips to keep from crying out. "Yes… Rin… like that." replied in a strained voice. Rin beamed and made her way to the edge of the cliff to wait for Jaken.

Sesshomaru watched as Jaken finally made his appearance.

"Hi Master Jaken!" Rin screamed in his ear.

"AH! OW!" First Jaken screamed in shock, and then he screamed in pain because Rin had punched him hard in the stomach.

"Rin! What do you think your doing!" Jaken screamed in rage. Rin just giggled and then kick him with all her might in the balls.

Jaken screamed in pain, and Sesshomaru laughed quietly to himself as Rin skipped back to him happily.

"Did I do good, Lord Sesshomaru?" She asked urgently.

"You did great Rin" Sesshomaru replied. 'I'll have to get Rin to do this more often!' he thought as he watch Rin run away laughing as the stupid toad chased her. As he watched, he thought of more evil and painful things he could do to his lowly vassal.

END

Barking Inuyasha: Jaken is so gay! I'm starting a poll. Whoever thinks Jaken is gay, tell me in your reviews. Okay?

Koishi and Shippo: shewants20reveiwstotal!

Barking Inuyasha: Once again, if you didn't under stand them, I want 20 reviews total. See ya next chapter!


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